I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got
by brencon
Summary: All of Craig’s concentration seems to be directed at a fair haired, blue eyed boy he knows all too well. Set during the episode aired 160507. A McDean fic. First Hollyfiction. Chapter 11 is up, and Chapter 6 and 8 are rated M.
1. Part 1

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route. Thanks to Nikita for the beta.  
**Word Count:** 1,425  
**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

* * *

Craig's tears ran freely down his cheeks as he reached out to John Paul's T-shirt. Slowly, gently, he stroked his best friend's chest, watching his hands move up and down as if he were in some sort of trance.

John Paul's words were barely above a whisper, "Craig…Craig, don't."

Craig's hands had risen to John Paul's shoulders, and again he was stroking his best friend, "I – I…I can't stop thinking about you," he said, his voice full of emotion. His hands rose higher to John Paul's neck, cupping his best friend's head firmly, Craig brought himself within J.P.'s personal space.

"Craig, Craig…," John Paul murmured, his eyes wide.

Breathing each other's air, Craig held on for dear life, "…I want you," he whispered and, with all of his strength, he crashed his mouth against John Paul's.

He remembered the kiss they had shared a couple of months ago…their first kiss. Even though he was acting like a drunken fool, he knew what he'd done. He, Craig Dean, kissed his best friend. As fast as it had happened, it was over.

Hannah overheard him telling J.P. that he loved him, then saw him kissing him. Her heart broken, she ran off to tell Sarah and Nancy. Suddenly, Craig was as sober as a judge.

Over the past few days and weeks, knowing that his best friend was truly gay, even having a boyfriend, Craig's feelings had been torn apart, stripped of what he knew and sewn back together out of sequence.

He saw his girlfriend as vain and obnoxious and his best friend as something more, something amazing, and something he needed to follow up on. And this kiss told him his feelings had been right.

John Paul's arms suddenly reached up to Craig's chest. For a few seconds, John Paul caressed Craig's chest with the love he felt for him before pushing Craig off him, hearing a whimper escape his best friend's lips.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" John Paul gasped, drawing much-needed air into his lungs.

Craig just ran his hands through his hair and sobbed. He turned from J.P., facing the living room. Knowing that, once again, he'd screwed up; Craig wished that hell would open up and swallow him.

"Craig, talk to me! What's going on with you?" John Paul reached for his friend, when a spark ran through him. Craig felt it too, for he spun on the spot. Trapped in each others space again, Craig's eyes fell to John Paul's lips. He remembered their taste, or maybe that was just a combination of his fear and the sherry. In that instance, he knew what he needed to do.

Reaching out for John Paul, he took one of his hands and laced it with his own. Stumbling through the McQueen home, he led J.P. to the stairs. Before he took one step upwards to his best mate's room, John Paul came to his senses and dropped his hand from Craig's.

"Where…what do you think you're doing, Craig?" John Paul asked, his blue eyes waking from their dazed look.

Again, a sob passed from his lips. Fresh, salty tears beckoning to escape from him, he swallowed hard, dabbed at his tears and looked up at his best friend.

"Craig, please…what's this all about? Talk to me," J.P. said, placing his hands on Craig's shoulders reassuringly.

"I…I…" Craig started. He cleared his throat a number of times, looking anywhere but John Paul's face. "For the past few days, I've been…yeah, I've been off with your boyfriend because my tastes are different," he said, walking closer into John Paul's arms.

"My mind's been all over the place! I…I just walked out of an exam because my mind's in bits!" Craig said loudly, cupping one of John Paul's cheeks in his hand. He stroked his thumb across the soft skin of J.P.'s lips.

"I keep remembering that kiss… I imagine you and Spike together, and I feel sick! I can't touch Sarah without feeling dirty, and I want you so bad it hurts," Craig said, his voice cracking.

"John Paul, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for weeks! And, yeah, I've been jealous of Spike, because I…I – I want you so badly, I want to be the one that you kiss," Craig said, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

Craig had just laid out all his thoughts and feelings on a platter for John Paul to sort through and, by the look on his best mate's face, it was something he'd completely unexpected to hear spilling from his first love's lips.

"Craig…," John Paul started, before Craig smashed his lips to J.P.'s own. Again, he started to lead the one of his thoughts up the stairs. They stumbled and nearly fell over a few times before crashing into John Paul's room.

John Paul broke the kiss for what must've been the third time by now, "You sure?" he asked, hoping that yes would still be the answer. He watched as tears spilled from Craig's eyes again, slower this time. He watched as Craig surveyed the room, for some unknown reason. He watched as Craig nodded his answer and again pushed his mouth to J.P.'s.

His hands fell from his best mates' neck to his top. Without breaking the kiss, he slid the hoodie from John Paul's chest and slid his hands beneath John Paul's T-shirt. He felt the toned abs and muscles there and sighed contentedly into his lover's mouth.

John Paul's hands snaked to the base of Craig's top, which he swiftly pulled over his head, followed by the tank top underneath. Now bare-chested, John Paul had to break the kiss. If this was going to happen, something he'd been dreaming of for months now, then he was going to remember every last, minute detail.

The bronzed chest heaved as Craig felt John Paul's gaze take everything in. His breathing deepened further and he once again sought out John Paul's mouth.

John Paul met Craig's tongue with as much vigour as he had given in their previous kisses. As J.P. massaged his tongue, Craig backed them both up against the bed. As the back of his knees hit it, he fell backwards onto his bed.

Smiling, Craig placed a leg on either side of John Paul's own before gently sitting down on his lap.

John Paul could not believe what his eyes were showing him. The guy of his dreams, the love of his life, was in his arms, kissing him with as much passion as he could feel for anyone. And Craig was the one who initiated everything - no coercion from John Paul required!

What was it Craig had said earlier on? _I want you._ I guess he actually does loves me, John Paul thought contentedly.

Craig's movement stopped suddenly, his arms draped over John Paul's shoulders. Reaching out to wipe away the damp tears, John Paul smiled up to Craig.

"Are you still sure?" he asked, not wanting to force Craig to do anything he didn't want to. Not that he didn't want him so badly that it hurt, but John Paul wanted Craig to _want _to do this.

Craig's answer was to kiss John Paul hard and passionately. He pushed John Paul back down onto the duvet and continued to ravish his best mate's mouth.

------

It could've been weeks later, months even, when John Paul awoke. He glanced at the digital clock on his bedside table. Seven forty-five. It had only been hours. Mere hours. But they had passed by so blissfully.

John Paul remembered all of the loving touches, the kisses that Craig gave him as he thrust into him. Looking down, he saw his lover's head on his chest, arms grasping his sides.

Smiling down at Craig, he gently lifted him up and laid his body down beside him as he rolled over, closer to the edge of his bed. Craig's eyes opened slowly, his hands rising to rub the remaining sleep from his eyes.

Propping himself up on one elbow, John Paul allowed himself to gaze over the slightly tanned skin on the body beside him.

"How did that happen, eh?" he asked, using his other hand to run through Craig's hair, "I've dreamt about that for a long time now."

Turning in the bed, Craig moved in the opposite direction of John Paul. His tears raced down his cheeks as he threw the pillow over his head, sobbing.

"Craig, what's wrong?" John Paul asked.


	2. Part 2

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route. Thanks to Nikita for the beta. Finished this chapter a lot quicker than I thought I would.  
**Word Count:** 1,406  
**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing. Italics are texts messages.

------

**Part 2**

His cheeks were drenched by the time J.P. had finally rolled him over so that he could face him. Craig kept sobbing, looking anywhere but at John Paul. Before, he had taken the initiative to get what he wanted – John Paul - but now, in the moment that followed their actions, reality had kicked in.

He had sleptwith a _guy_!His best friend! If his mind was in pieces before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now! He was in tatters, and all he felt like doing was cowering in a corner of the room.

The gentle stroking of his arm was a physical reminder that he was lying naked in his mate's bed. Quickly, he drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, keeping them still as his continued to shake, his body wracked with deep sobs.

Placing his head on his knees, naked as the day he was born, he felt the bed rock slightly. John Paul must've gotten to his feet, Craig thought. He heard rustling and the door to the bedroom suddenly opened and then closed.

Chancing his luck, Craig raised his head. His guess was correct. John Paul was out of sight. Releasing his legs from his tight grasp, Craig reached to the floor for something to help cover his nudity.

Finding something, he drew it up his legs fast. Taking another piece of clothing from the floor, a t-shirt, he forced it over his head and pulled it down his chest.

As the bedroom door reopened, Craig's head was in his hands, his legs strewn over the side of the bed. His sobbing had calmed some, but his chest still heaved frequently.

Standing in front of Craig, John Paul held out a glass of water, to help calm Craig's breathing.

"Here," he said, lowering it into Craig's vision.

Mumbling something incoherent as a thank you, Craig swallowed half of the liquid in one gulp and felt his chest tighten as his friend's leg rubbed across his own as John Paul sat down beside him.

Not daring to look at the contact they shared, or John Paul's deep blue eyes, Craig searched the room for something to focus on. He noticed the discarded trousers and tops that covered the floor and found a stream of light hitting the wall beside the door. It had a summery orange tint to it. The sun must be setting, Craig thought.

"Are you okay?" John Paul asked, breaking the silence.

Gulping hard, finding his throat dry, Craig took a short, quick sip of his water before answering, "No." He dried his face with the sleeve of the tee he was wearing and realised that, in his disorientation, he had picked up J.P.'s from the floor and not his own.

Looking to his left, he found John Paul staring at him incessantly. His eyes fell to his friend's waist before he could stop himself and he noticed that the underwear he had grabbed from his chest of drawers that morning was on his friend's body.

And he finally cottoned on that what he was wearing must've been John Paul's.

"What just happened, Craig?" John Paul asked, not seeing what his lover's gaze had been drawn to.

"I dunno, in the most honest meaning of the word; _I do not know_," Craig replied, finishing the water his friend offered him.

"Craig, you've got to stop messing with my head…talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking," John Paul pleaded, slowly taking Craig's right hand in his left. He squeezed it tightly, informing Craig that he wasn't letting go, no matter what.

Sighing heavily, Craig looked up at John Paul's concerned face. Raising his free hand, Craig traced J.P.'s cheekbone. He then dropped his hand and looked away.

"Are you going to open up at all to me, ever?" John Paul asked, following his friend's every move.

Craig opened his mouth to speak but stopped, knowing that he would only say something that would either hurt his best mate or himself.

A few minutes passed excruciatingly slowly when Craig finally took it upon himself to say something.

"Did it feel…did it feel like it did with Spike?"

Mouth wide open, John Paul shook himself from his daze and took a shallow breath before answering.

"No," he replied, seeing the hurt look covering his friend's face, "It was so much better. Of course it was better, I love you so much."

Again turning to look at John Paul, Craig shook his head and sighed again, shorter this time.

The tension that been present since they both woken up had shrunk some, but the elephant was still in their presence, all pink and trampling over everything in sight.

"Why?" Craig asked, "Why do you love me?" His eyes focused on their laced fingers.

Stumped by the question, John Paul looked at their joined fingers, "I don't know why…'cause…you're fun to be around and you have this great laugh, and whenever we chill out together I feel like breaking out in song. Because your eyes look so warm and inviting," John Paul answered, looking into his friend's face.

Smirking, he added, "It does help that you're wickedly fit, too."

"I...I – I -," Craig started. He cleared his throat once, then twice before continuing, "I think I love you, John Paul. I just…I just don't know how it happened. I've been so jealous lately that Spike was the one you were kissing, not me. That he was the one you laughed with, that held your hand. That he was the one you talked to about all of your worries and what you thought was great."

It was as if his mouth was a fountain spraying all of his thoughts and feelings onto the floor. And for the second time in just three hours as well.

"My concentration has been shot to hell; I haven't studied as much as I should've. I walked out of my exam! And then when I got here this afternoon, I couldn't think of how to say what was on my mind. Who knew sherry could be used as liquid courage, eh?" he continued, chuckling.

Again silence surrounded them, but it was a lot more comfortable than before. The boys heard the front door open and then slam shut and still they didn't move. It was like they were stuck to the edge of John Paul's single bed.

Finally, John Paul had mounted up enough courage to ask the question that was in the eye of the storm in his mind.

"Are you gay, Craig?" he asked, loosening his grip of Craig's hand. Just in case, he told himself. He really did hope it was just a precaution.

Craig's breathing seemed to grow faster. "Just tell me. Are you gay, Craig? It's just that we just slept together after you stormed into my house asking all these questions about me and Spike, after you kissed me…after you led me up those stairs to my bed. You even said that Sarah made your skin crawl."

Silence.

"It's a simple yes or no answer, Craig."

Jumping to his feet, Craig pulled his hand from John Paul's, grabbed his trousers from the floor and forced each leg into them. He zipped up and fastened his belt in the space of a few seconds. He looked over John Paul, ran his hand through his hair before swinging the bedroom door open hard.

"No, it's definitely not!" Craig shouted, before exiting the room.

The sound of him galloping down the stairs along with his reaction told John Paul everything he needed to know.

He stood up and swung the door shut. Reaching for his own trousers, he rifled through the pockets and found his phone. He opened up a blank message.

_Spike, can you come round tonight? We need to talk. John Paul._

As he waited for his message to send, he dressed and checked himself in the mirror hanging on the wall.

Pulling back the collar of Craig's top that he was now wearing, he touched the skin where Craig's lips had been last. The skin was already darkening, but he didn't care. His most beloved dream had finally come true and the man of his dreams was turning out to be someone John Paul knew he could be.

Finishing the last of Craig's drink, he opened his bedroom door and headed downstairs.


	3. Part 3

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.  
**Word Count:** 1,953  
**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

------

**Part 3**

Answering the repeated tap-tap-tap at the front door, John Paul found Spike standing there, a vinyl under his arm. John Paul almost forgot the reason he was here. Almost.

Eyes sparkling with happiness at the sight of his boyfriend, Spike leaned in to give him a kiss. To say hello, obviously.

But John Paul dodged his movement and looked awfully guilty. He held the door open fully to let Spike in before closing it gently behind him. Taking a few deep breaths, John Paul offered Spike a seat on the couch.

"Can I get you a drink or something?" John Paul asked, dodging the reason for bringing Spike here.

Knowing that something was up the moment J.P. didn't allow him to kiss him, Spike simply smiled at him sadly.

"John Paul, just say it."

"What?" John Paul asked, as if lost for a moment in Spike's reply, "What should I just say?"

"That you're breaking up with me. That is the reason you text me, asked me to come round, right?"

Nodding shamefully, John Paul looked down at his hands, "I've just been thinking a lot about Craig lately, and if I'm thinking about him, I'm definitely not thinking about you," John Paul said. He couldn't just say 'We just slept together this afternoon and I think we may be getting together permanently so you can't be my boyfriend anymore.' No, Spike deserved more than that. He'd helped John Paul come to terms with who he is.

"I'm so sorry," John Paul whimpered, looking anywhere but Spike's face.

"Hey," Spike whispered, his hand on J.P.'s chin, forcing him to look at him, "Don't be," and he kissed him one final, loving time.

John Paul sat there as Spike let himself out. He was dumbfounded. Had he really just dumped a guy he was so compatible with because he had slept with his best friend, the guy of his dreams, once?

Turning on the tube, John Paul simply stared at it, not caring what he was watching. Lost in his thoughts, John Paul didn't hear Jacqui come back down the stairs nor did hear her ask if he wanted a cuppa.

Shaking him roughly, she shouted his name a few times to wake him from his daze.

"Alright?" Jacqui asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.

"Sorry, I was miles away," John Paul said, shaking his head to remove the cobwebs.

"Tea?" Jacqui asked, heading to the kitchen.

Filling the kettle with water she switched it on. Getting two cups, she plopped two tea bags in before opening the fridge and grabbing the milk. Taking a spoon from the sink, she gave it a quick wash and then dried it, placing it beside the cups. Knowing that her brother liked sweet tea, she opened a press and grabbed the bag of sugar.

Soon enough, the kettle hissed and sang, steam rushing to the ceiling, fogging up the window that looked out to the backyard. She popped it open, watching the steam storm out.

Lifting the kettle, she filled both cups above half way before using the spoon to make the tea stronger in her own mug. She then tossed both used tea bags in the trash. Dropping a splash of milk into both cups she watched as they liquid changed from a dark black to lightened brown.

Leaving the spoon in John Paul's cup, grabbing the bag of sugar, she carried the refreshments over to her brother. Sitting beside him on the couch she sipped her drink as it quenched her thirst.

John Paul dropped two sugar-filled tea spoons into the cup and swirled the drink around, watching the whirlpool in the cup. He threw the used spoon onto the coffee table and leaned back into the couch, letting his tea cool some.

"Shouldn't you be revising?" She asked, tracing the path of a single tea drop down her cup.

"Can't," Came John Paul's short answer, "My brains fried."

"Alright, and does this have something to do with a certain brown-eyed boy who stormed out of the house sobbing a half hour ago wearing your clothes?" She asked, watching his reaction.

Nodding his head, John Paul finally took his cup in his hand, sipping the warm tea slowly.

"What's happened now?"

"We…-He…-I…" John Paul started, before sighing almost over dramatically.

As if sensing what it was he was trying to get out but couldn't, Jacqui smirked and looked slyly at her only brother, "Finally got your dream, eh?"

Nodding again, John Paul shyly smiled.

"Yeah, I did."

------

Craig couldn't go home. Darren would be there. Or worse, his mum. He couldn't face anyone. He was walking without a plan of action and found that his feet had brought him to the local park.

Dropping himself onto a bench, Craig's mind fell back to his actions of that afternoon. His memory seemed to be working in high definition as he recalled kissing his best mate fiercely, fully not understanding his actions as he spilled his guts for the second time that afternoon.

And somehow he found himself looking down at a naked John Paul, his heart beating fast in his chest, faster than ever had done before, as his lips parted and allowed J.P.'s tongue entry.

He remembered how he had thrust into his best friend hard and without caution one moment and then slowly and tendering entering him with so much love and passion and desire that he though his heart would burst.

And as he recalled the last conversation they had shared, John Paul's words echoed in his ears. 'Are you gay, Craig?' He had asked twice, and gotten not one reply. 'It's a simple yes or no answer, Craig,' he'd said.

Maybe it was for him, Craig thought, but it certainly isn't for me! I still fancy girls! Okay, yeah, I've gone off Sarah a lot lately and my mind's not let me stop thinking about John Paul, but I have no idea what in the hell I am!

Running a hand through his hair, Craig released a deep breath.

"What does it matter what I am as long as I'm with who I love?" He said out loud, realising for the first time what he was feeling.

"I love John Paul…" He whispered to himself.

Jumping to his feet, he ran back to the only one he could think of that could help him sort himself out.

------

Carrying the empty cups to the kitchen, Jacqui heard the solitary knock at the front door.

John Paul had gone back to his room to wallow some more. He had told her that he had ended things with Spike because of what had happened between himself and Craig.

Answering the door, that same boy was shifting from foot to foot anxiously. Smirking again, she decided to have a little fun with the confused teen.

"I recognise that jumper… isn't that our John Paul's?" She asked, knowing rightly that it was.

"Eh," the boy stammered, looking around Jacqui, searching for John Paul, "yeah, yeah it is. I borrowed it one time a while back and still haven't given it back. Is he in?"

"Course he's in, he's studying in his room."

Jacqui moved out of his way. Craig smiles his thanks and rushed up the stairs to the room he knows oh so well.

He knocked twice before entering the room. John Paul was lying on his bed, head pressed into the pillow.

"John Paul," Comes the call from his best mate.

Turning quickly, John Paul blushed and tossed the pillow aside.

"Craig! I-I didn't think you'd come back."

"Well, I had to. I mean, I can't go home wearing your clothes, no can I?" Craig joked, attempting to break the tension.

"So…"

"Yeah?" Craig replied, not knowing what to expect J.P. to say.

"Are you okay?" John Paul asked.

"I'm… I'm fine, yeah. Very confused, but otherwise okay."

"Confused?" John Paul sat up on the edge of his bed.

"Did you mean what you said at Hannah's 18th? That you loved me. Do you still mean it?" Craig asked suddenly.

"Yeah," John Paul said, looking down.

"I… I-I think I love you. I don't know how it happened, or when, but I do," Craig said, leaning back against the bedroom door.

"You do?" John Paul asked; hope filling his voice as his sparkling eyes found Craig's.

"Yeah," Craig said quietly. He didn't just think it, though. He felt it. He felt it with every fibre of his being.

In an instant John Paul was on his feet, crushing Craig up against his door as his arms interlocked around Craig's neck. Their lips met and it felt right. It felt perfect.

Soon, John Paul's hands were on Craig's ass. His dreams were coming true.

Who knew that this would be my dream? He asked himself. As John Paul's tongue entered his mouth, he didn't care if anyone saw or heard anything, because it felt too damn right to be wrong.

They stumbled over the trainers and books and clothes that covered every square inch of the floor as they fell onto John Paul's bed again. Closing his eyes in pleasure, John Paul's hands slid down the back of Craig's jeans and beneath the waist band of his own boxers.

Gasping into John Paul's mouth at the new sensation, Craig moaned as John Paul drew his head back.

"Is this okay?"

"Yeah…" He groaned, as John Paul's hand slowly fell between his cheeks.

"Good."

Only moments later, they were both naked, John Paul on top, grinding into each other. Wanting to feel as close to his best friend as possible, Craig slid open the drawer of J.P.'s bedside table and grabbed a container he'd searched himself just hours earlier.

Handing it to John Paul, he dropped his head to the mattress, "Please John Paul, I want you so much," before dragging J.P.'s head to his own.

The click told him exactly what was coming, and he finally knew for sure that he didn't want this, any of this, to ever stop.

------

The sun had finally set and the moon now shone high in the night sky as they both finally collapsed on the bed, exhausted but completely content.

John Paul spooned Craig, stroking his stomach, when he finally spoke again.

"That was… amazing," Craig said breathlessly, a grin spreading from ear to ear.

"Did it hurt?"

"It hurt a first, but then this fire of pleasure grew deep down inside of me and it felt fantastic."

"Good," John Paul said, kissing Craig's neck, sending shivers down his lovers spine.

They lay there in silence, listening to each others breathing for a few minutes before John Paul spoke again.

"I broke up with Spike," he declared, his arms now wrapping themselves around Craig's waist.

"You did?" John Paul asked, feeling more joy spread through his body as John Paul held on tight.

"Yeah. It went okay, I think."

Another comfortable silence fell around them.

"Does your sister know about this…us?" Craig suddenly asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Which sister?" John Paul joked.

"Jacqui."

"Yeah. She was the one who came home after the first time."

"Oh."

Heart beats quietened. Breathing slowed.

"I'm sleepy," Craig mumbled, his eyelids drooping.

"Sleep."

"You'll be here when I wake?"

"I'd never leave you."

Smiling to himself, Craig let sleep takeover.

"Goodnight, my love." John Paul whispered, kissing Craig's shoulder. And then, he too fell asleep.

At that moment in time, life was good for the two boys, neither caring about their exams or what anybody else would say to them. They were together finally, and that's all that mattered.

But it wouldn't be always be that way.


	4. Part 4

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.  
**Word Count:** 1,986  
**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

------

**Part 4**

Craig and JP were walking through the village towards the Dog, hand in hand, neither seeing (nor caring) about, the looks that were being thrown into their direction.

Laughing at some silly comment that JP had just made, Craig leaned in close and kissed him passionately for a few seconds. Smiling at the sign of affection, JP pushed the door to the pub wide open and gently shoved Craig before him playfully.

Stumbling inside, laughing heartily, Craig threw a playful punch to John Paul's shoulder.

The door closing behind the two of them, the pub was suddenly too quiet for this early on a Saturday night. Both boys were now facing the bar, and all eyes were on them. Frankie was sobbing into Jack's shoulder; Darren had a look that Craig couldn't decipher.

But it was his former girlfriend, Sarah, who shocked him the most. She was almost snarling, eyes red with rage. Carrying her drink, a double vodka and coke – her usual – she got to her feet and practically stomped her way over to him.

"Fag!" She growled at him with a quiet intensity. She upturned her drink on his head, and then shattered the glass at his feet.

His eyes watering, he watched his mum race through and to the stairs that led to the flat above.

He then saw his brother and Nancy. Nancy was shooting daggers in his direction. Jake, on the other hand, had a look of deep disgust on his face. He too got to his feet, but his drink remained on the table he had been sitting at.

It was in slow motion when he felt his brother's fist connect with his chin. Knocked to the floor, he felt the air be pushed from his lungs as Jake kicked him in the stomach.

He was a sobbing mess on the floor, the hot taste of metal in his mouth from the punch he had received.

Hands trembling, he pushed himself to his knees and threw a hurt look at John Paul for not coming to his aid.

But the scowl on JP's face was like a knife to his heart. Leaning ever closer to Craig, JP's short "why can't you just make up your mind" cut him deep, and the shove he received was a lot less playful as the one that he got when they entered the pub.

Falling back to the ground, he watched JP's feet vanish as the door to the pub closed. Sobbing painfully, Craig again pushed himself to a standing position and, ignoring the looks of disgust and hatred, ran upstairs to his room.

Collapsing on his bed, he threw his pillow over his head and bawled, letting his salty hot tears drench his pillow.

And then the strangest thing happened. He heard a distant beeping. Thinking it was his phone, he patted his pockets. His phone wasn't there. The beeping was getting louder and louder, and was abruptly stopped. He then felt his bed rock, and a warm comforting hand be placed to his chest.

"Craig, wake up, we have to get up, the exam is in an hour," JP said, gently prodding Craig's sleeping body. Nothing seemed to be working, so he had a thought.

Lying himself on top of Craig, he kissed him chastely at first, before stroking his tongue across his lips.

The purr of excitement that Craig emitted told him that his plan had worked. Rolling off the just-awake boy, JP watched as Craig brushed the remaining sleep from the corners of his eyes.

"Morning," Craig said, sounding incredibly sexy, his voice coarse, JP thought.

"Hi," JP said, smiling across at him.

"Did you say something about an exam?"

"Yeah."

"I need to get home before heading to school. I don't actually have anything to write with; I left it all in the exam room yesterday afternoon."

"You could borrow some of my stuff, if you wanted?" JP offered, getting to his feet to search through the mess of his room for some clean boxers.

"I would take you up on that offer, but I need to change my clothes."

Joining JP's side, Craig found his own clothes and dressed as JP did the same. Smiling at each other, Craig grasped at John Paul and kissed him as if his life depended on it.

JP stuttered and gasped as the kiss ended, taking Craig's hand and leading him out of his room and down the stairs.

When they reached the living room, Craig dropped his hand from JP's. Seeing the hurt look on his lover's face, Craig cupped his friends face in his hand, "I have to break up with Sarah, and she has to hear it from me, not from your Michaela."

Accepting the explanation, John Paul lead him into the kitchen.

"Morning, John Paul," Myra said as she filled up a number of bowls on the counter with cereal.

Turning to her face him, she finally noticed that Craig was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her son. Myra may not have accepted her son's choice in lifestyle in the beginning, but she had grown accustomed to it. And she wasn't stupid. Walking past her only son's room last night, she heard sounds of moaning and groaning and squeaking bed springs coming through the door and she had assumed it was John Paul and his boyfriend Spike. More fool me, she thought, looking pointedly at her son.

"Hello, Craig."

"Mrs. McQueen," Craig replied, sheepishly, as he became entranced by a loose thread in his trainer.

"Didn't know you where here, love," Myra said, glancing at the reddening faces on both lads.

"Oh, um, Craig came by last night and we were so deep in revision, we lost track of time. It was too late for Craig to go home; he might've waked the whole flat. She he slept on the floor in my room," John Paul lied. He didn't like that he was already doing it again, after all that happened with Jacqui and Carmel and Alek. But he knew he couldn't tell her the truth either, not without scaring Craig off, which was something he never wanted to do. Ever.

Looking sceptical, because she knew what had really happened between the two; Myra offered two bowls of corn flakes to both boys, which hungrily took.

Craig practically wolfed down his breakfast, and, checking before hand to see if the coast was clear, pressed a tender kiss to JP's cheek.

"See ya in a few, alight?"

"Uh-hm," JP answered, his mouth full with cereal.

Hearing the front door close, Myra tested the waters. She poked her head around the corner and saw that her son was the only one left in room.

"How do you feel about your exam?" She asked, entering the room proper.

"As okay as I can be."

Silence surrounded them so much that all that could be heard was the rattling of JP's spoon hitting the bottom of the bowl.

"Anything you want to talk to me about?" Myra asked, looking pointedly at her son.

"Nothing that I can think of," he lied again, feeling his ears burn.

"John Paul, Jacq told us what happened when we got in yesterday."

John Paul gulped, "She did?"

"Yeah. Are you alright, son? How did he take it?"

"How did who take what?" John Paul asked confusedly. He had suddenly thought his mum knew about his and Craig's sleeping together, but that didn't fit in with her words.

"Your boyfriend, the break up."

"He took it well, I think. I know it was sudden and all, but I didn't feel for him the way he felt for me, and I just couldn't keep pulling him along," John Paul replied. When did he start lying to everyone in his family? Could any of them tell?

Placing his now empty bowl on the coffee table before him, he glanced at the clock and realised his exam was in twenty minutes, "I best be off, my exam's soon," He walked towards the door, grabbing his back pack off the bottom stair, and rushed out of the house.

Staring at where JP had just been, Myra sighed heavily, took the two empty bowls from the table and moved to the kitchen. She sighed again, throwing some washing-up liquid in the sink and turning on the hot water tap. She really wished her life hadn't gotten as complicated as it had over the past couple of weeks.

------

The exam was a blur to Craig, which wasn't a good sign. But at least this time he knew what he wanted… who he wanted. As soon as it had started, it was over and done with.

Now at his locker, he dumped his stuff in it and turned to find John Paul.

But that idea was cut short when Sarah jumped him and forced her mouth on his. He knew he couldn't just push her off him and start spitting the taste of her out of his mouth, he had messed around with her too much to do that to her. No, he had to let her down gently. How to let her down gently was what was causing him the trouble.

Breaking the kiss, Sarah smiled contentedly and looped her arm with Craig's and began to lead him towards the exit. AS the they turned the final corner, Craig glanced over his shoulder and saw his blond haired, blue eyed boy stuck to the floor in the middle of the corridor.

"So, where're we heading to?"

Leaning against him as they walked through the school grounds, Sarah said, "For a celebratory drink! The worst of the exams are over!"

"The Dog, then?"

"Where else would we go at noon?"

Laughing, Craig searched the crowd now behind him for John Paul, to see if he was following them.

Halfway towards the Dog, Craig suddenly stopped walking without warning, which made Sarah almost trip and fall flat on her face.

"I thought you of all people would be up for a drink! What's up?"

"I just don't feel up to drinking," Craig lied, feeling his stomach turn.

"What do you feel up to?" Sarah said suggestively, licking her upper lip with her tongue as she twirled a lone strand of hair around her finger.

Swallowing audibly, Craig shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Yours or mine?" Sarah asked.

"Yours, Darren will be there and Steph and Mum and Jack."

"Okay, that decides it then."

"But what about your dad?" Craig suddenly remembered that Mike Barnes had been bashed in the skull with a brick not four days ago. He shivered at his own antics… anything to not have to touch Sarah.

"He's still in hospital, remember? Mum won't have left his side, so the only one at mine is Amy, and I can just tell her to take Leah out for a walk or something, give us some alone time."

Craig's thoughts failed him as Sarah knotted her fingers through his and they started walking to her house.

Beep beep, his phone went. Apologising to Sarah, he pulled it from his pocket and pressed the button to show the message. It was from JP and it read:

Are you going to do it now? My place is empty, so you can come over when it's done. John Paul. X.

Using just the virtual kiss from JP as strength, Craig was thrown when he realised he was standing inside the Barnes hall. Sarah was calling for Amy, but there was no answer.

"Must be out already," was Sarah's assumption.

And all too soon, Craig found himself on his back, Sarah above, her tongue down his throat. He could feel the bile burning it's way up his throat and used his hands to lift Sarah off him.

"What's wrong?" She asked, seeing his sick-stricken face.

"We need to talk," He answered, his voice barely loud enough for Sarah to hear.


	5. Part 5

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.  
**Word Count:** 1,646  
**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

------

**Part 5**

JP had his guitar in hand and was strumming away when his mum entered, carrying an arms load of clean clothes. She told him to shift up before dropping it all on his bed.

"Where did all this come from?" She asked, rifling through it. She began to sort it all out into different piles: t-shirts, boxers…

"It's just kinda built up over the past few weeks. I've been all over the place with revision when I started to realise I had ran out of cleans clothes out of this morning. So, I dropped it all in the wash basket this morning before me and Craig came downstairs," He explained, carefully placing the instrument against the frame of the bed.

"And how did the exam go this morning?" Myra asked.

"Pretty well, considering everything."

Smiling, Myra sat on the edge of her son's bed and took one of his hands in her own.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Slowly smiling, John Paul faced his mum and squeezed her hand. He had worried so much that she would just say what she thought had happened last night between him and Craig. But, so far, she hadn't let on that she knew anything, which meant that Jacq had kept her word, like she said she would.

He had seen Sarah dragging off his boyfriend after the exam this morning and had texted Craig, letting him know he could come over when he broke up with her. So he had been killing time in his room, playing some tracks.

"Course, mum. I tell you everything," Well, almost everything, John Paul thought. He would tell her the truth about him and Craig once Craig had broke up with Sarah.

"Lunch is in a half hour, I'm making spag bol."

"My favourite," John Paul replied. His mother got to her feet and took the now empty wash basket in her hands.

"Anything for my only son," Myra said, smiling brightly. She walked to the door before stopping again, "Oh and love? Don't just leave them clothes there, put them away, eh?"

------

They had separated him and Sarah. She was now pacing back and forth in her room, almost waring a patch in the carpet. Craig had just told her that they should break up, that he was in love with someone else. When she pushed him to tell her who it was, he had simply sat still and looked at the floor.

"How long?" She suddenly stood still, arms protectively crossed over her chest.

"What?" Craig asked, confused. That was not what he had expected to be her next question.

"How long have you felt this way?"

"A few weeks… I tried to push them away, but it just made me feel terrible, I was just lying to myself. I had to be honest with everyone."

Facing Craig, Sarah took a number of steps towards her bed, "You've already told this girl that you love her? Who is she Craig? Do I know her?" Sarah questioned, her mouth moving a mile a minute.

"I've already told the person, yeah, but I won't tell you who it Sarah. We have to see if we're going to work out together as a couple first, before going public with our relationship."

Sarah's eyes turned to slits. Why did he say 'person' instead of 'girl'? Of course it was a girl. It had to be! Craig had already proved that he was straight, when he beat JP black and blue at football back in February.

John Paul…

How could she have been so stupid? As one hand rose to her mouth, the other fell to her stomach, which had suddenly flipped at her thoughts.

"Oh God," She mumbled, before barging out of her room and to the bathroom, slamming its door shut.

"Sarah," Craig called, jumping to his feet and following her to the bathroom. He tried the door, but it was locked from the inside. He placed his ear against the door and heard retching. Sadly sighing, Craig moved to the kitchen and filled a glass with water for her and returned to his post at the door.

The sound of retching had vanished, replaced with the sound of sobbing. He placed himself on the ground in front of the door, and pressed his back up against it, getting comfortable. Before talking, he decided to give her a few moments to relax after what ever just happened.

"Sarah?" He called again, his eyes watching the sparkling water in the glass in his hand bubble and sizzle. The sobbing had quietened some, but there was still little bursts of emotions coming through the door.

"Sarah, is everything alright in there?" Craig asked, his calm and soothing.

Sarah drew strength from somewhere deep down inside and forced herself to her feet. She turned the cold tap on and splashed it on her warmed face. She then took some of the mouthwash beside the toothpaste and gargled for a moment, washing away any trace or taste of what she had just done. She spat the contents and watched as the swirling water washed the remnants down the drain.

Hearing the water running, Craig knew she would be coming out. _When_ was the question.

"I want a straight answer, and I want it now," Sarah shouted through the door, her voice filled with what Craig could only think to call disgust. And as the door to the bathroom swung open, he was just able to stop himself from falling backwards on the ground.

"Wow! Watch what you're doing there!"

Either not caring or just simply ignoring him, Sarah raced into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Finding the half empty bottle of wine her mother had been drinking last night, Sarah pulled the cork out and drank from the bottle, wincing as the taste attacked her taste buds.

"This, this _person_ that you are suddenly in love with… tell me, is it John Paul?" She asked, her hands gripping the bottle tight.

Craig didn't answer. He couldn't. He just looked down to the ground, wringing his hands. He heard Sarah sob again and forced himself to look at her, "I am so sorry, Sarah! I know that I've messed you around so much these past few months, but I just wasn't being honest with myself. I love him, Sarah."

He heard the smash; felt the shards of glass bounce of his back before his eyes even registered that Sarah had flung the bottle in his direction, "Get out! Get the hell out!" Sarah yelled, throwing herself at him.

She threw punch after punch to his chest and face before her anger lead to even more tears and she was barely hitting him. She allowed him to hold her as her body was racked with sobs.

His guilt paled in comparison with the immense feeling of relief that had started spreading through his body. Sarah's tears now dried into his shirt as she stepped out of his grasp.

Sitting herself down at the dinner table, she rolled the sleeves of her top over her hands and dried her watering eyes.

"You can leave now," Her voice was cold, distant, and she didn't even look at him.

"I am so sorry," He repeated, expecting nothing in return. He moved to the door and opened it, before stopping and facing her again, "I will always be here… if you wanna talk," he offered, before getting out.

Sarah got to her feet once more, after a few minutes. She moved to the bathroom and flushed the toilet. She then returned to her room, locked the door and throwing herself onto her bed, Sarah cried all that she was feeling away into her pillow.

------

John Paul was worried. It had been an hour since he had sent his text and still nothing. How long did it take to dump someone?

He had gotten bored playing his guitar so he had put on a CD he had burned. Currently playing was 'Afraid' by Nelly Furtado. Listening to this song made him think of Craig, and of himself. It held such truth in its lyrics.

_I'm so afraid of what people might say but that's okay,' cause you're only human._

_I'm so afraid of what people might say but that's okay; you'll soon get strong enough._

_I'm so afraid of what people might say, you're going to break, so please don't do it._

He felt the song deep in his chest. It felt like it was telling the story of his life and love of ,or with, Craig. But he must have had his stereo too loud, because he didn't here the doorbell ring, or the front door open and close, or the stomping of feet as some ran up the stairs. He barely heard the knock-knock at his door before Craig entered, his face tear stained, his mouth wobbling as if he was about to burst into tears once more.

Standing up, JP held his arms open and Craig quickly occupied the space. JP allowed himself to enjoy the comforting embrace before pulling back and looking Craig in the eye.

"She didn't take it well?"

Sniffling, Craig ran his hands up and down JP's back, "She knew it was you. She knew, somehow. And now she hates me."

"She hates us, Craig," John Paul said, hugging Craig again, "And if Hannah can accept me, then maybe Sarah can for you."

Chuckling into JP's shoulder, Craig said "I don't think she'll accept it anytime soon, if ever."

The two boys stood there in each others embrace for mere moments, before JP pulled away once more.

"So, what do you wanna do?"

Looking at his feet, Craig used all his courage to say what he wanted.

"Can you just be holding me? Kissing me?"

And John Paul did just that.


	6. Part 6

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.  
**Word Count:** 2,399  
**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

------

**Part 6**

Craig and John Paul had been lying in comfortable silence for the better part of half an hour, sharing the odd kiss here and there. Craig was covering JP completely, his head rising and falling in time to younger boy's breathing. His hand was idly drawing small circles on the chest he lay on as he grinned like a madman.

Here he was, lying in the arms of the man he loved with all of his heart, who loved him back, both happy to finally be with each other - just each other – and neither wanted to move from that very spot.

JP was in a world of his own. His dreams had finally come true. He could have an open relationship with Craig and not worry about hurting anyone else's feelings. His only worry was what Craig's family would say to his new life and love.

Myra had called for the lads a few times, but they were both too preoccupied in holding each other to go down for their lunch. They heard the front door open and close a few times. JP assumed that was his sisters and mother leaving himself and Craig alone in the house.

"Want to get some food? We kinda missed lunch," John Paul said, smiling down at Craig.

"I don't want to move from here. It's too comfy."

Craig snuggled tighter into John Paul's chest. John Paul laughed and ran a hand through Craig's hair.

"But it's my favourite! C'mon, we can bring it up here to eat it, alright? We'll only be separated for ten minutes, max."

Craig sighed into the younger boy's chest before pushing himself up and then off the blonde's body.

"We'd better do this fast," he said, grabbing JP's hand and, swinging the bedroom door open, dragged him down the stairs. Both boys were in fits of laughter as they stormed through the empty living room to the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, John Paul spotted the two plates his mother had left for the two of them.

"Who let you in earlier on?" John Paul asked, taking the plates out. He opened the microwave and shoved the plate in, setting the temp at max for a minute and a half.

"Your mum. She asked if everything was alright, 'cause I was really pale. I mean, usually, when I would knock on your front door, we would be either going to the pub or about to play on the Playstation. This afternoon, it was different. I was coming over to see my boyfriend," Craig paused, sitting at the breakfast bar. John Paul felt his heart swell with pride at being referred to as Craig Dean's boyfriend, as Craig continued. "I just got freaked out and thought that she could tell that there was something going on between us… I know, I'm paranoid."

"You may not be," John Paul said. The microwave beeped. He replaced one plate with another, before turning the machine on again, "Earlier, I was up in my room and I was really anxious to hear from you when mum came up with a load of clean clothes. She put them out and then sat beside me on my bed and asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell her. I lied, of course, because I knew I had to wait till I heard from you. She said that I could tell her anything and left."

Again the microwave beeped. John Paul removed his lunch, closed the door and placed both plates on the table that Craig sat it. He returned to the fridge for some milk and poured himself a glass, and got Craig a glass of water before joining his boyfriend for lunch.

"Well, I guess we should start telling people about us then," Craig said, before taking a mouthful of spaghetti. He then took a sip of water before looking at JP, "I mean, we are going out, right?" Craig suddenly felt worried. Did John Paul still want him as much as he wanted him?

"Course we are, you daft thing! Stop stressing out about it. I told you already, I'll never leave you."

"Good. So, who do you think we should tell first?"

John Paul pondered Craig's question. On one hand, he thought they should tell his family, because he had a feeling they already knew that something was going on between them. But on the other hand, it may be best to 'bite the bullet', as the saying goes, and tell the Dean/Osborne clan, get it out to them first so that they can get used to the idea of Craig having a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. But he thought that once they got over the shock of it all, that they could get used to the idea of it.

"Well?" Craig asked, breaking through JP's thoughts.

"I think it may be best if we tell your family first, or rather you tell them, because not only do you have to tell them about us, but you have to tell them that you're gay…" Seeing the look on Craig's face, John Paul continued, "or bi, or whatever you are."

Silence fell between them for a moment before Craig spoke.

"That's why I think we should tell your family first. I mean, Jacqui already knows, and Myra must know something if what you said earlier is true, and you already came out to them all. I'd rather have an easier reaction to our being together first, before I tell my mum."

John Paul placed his hand over Craig's and squeezed it gently, "You think Frankie won't take it well?"

Craig shook his head as he returned the squeeze, "She won't disown me or anything like that, but I don't she'll take it well, yeah. Here I am, her youngest kid, the apple of the eye as Jake keeps telling me, and if I tell her that I'm in love with you, I think she just won't accept it."

"But she will, once we give her time, right?"

"Yeah…well, I hope so."

John Paul stroked the back of Craig's hand with his thumb for a couple of seconds before returning to his food.

"So we'll tell my lot first then, eh?" John Paul said through a mouthful of food.

"Yeah, and then we'll head to mine."

John Paul raised his glass and drank some milk before speaking again.

"Are you sure you want me to be there with you? You know, when you tell your family? It's just, it might be better if you came out to them alone and told them about us without me being there."

This time Craig took John Paul's hand in his.

"John, I won't be able to get through it without you. I want you by my side when I tell them. I _need_ you to be by my side."

John Paul's face broke into a wide smile. Taking the initiative, he leaned across the table and kissed Craig's lips softly before sitting back down.

The two lads continued to eat their lunch in a comfortable silence, still holding hands. When they both had finally finished, John Paul piled Craig's plate on top of his and placed them in the sink whilst running the hot water for a few minutes. He heard scraping and then felt two arms snake around his waist.

Craig then pressed kisses all over JP's neck. He turned off the tap and faced Craig, who proceeded to kiss him passionately, pressing John Paul against the counter as he ground his arousal into John Paul's own. He felt John Paul groan into his mouth as their tongues danced. John Paul's hands found there way beneath Craig's top. He felt Craig shiver in anticipation as his hands ran through John Paul's hair, pulling their mouths even closer.

Breaking out of the incredible kiss, Craig took John Paul's hand and began to lead him through the living room and back to the stairs. They were both anxious as they finally entered John Paul's bedroom.

Craig crashed his mouth again to John Paul's with as much lust and love that he could feel in himself. They collapsed onto the bed, Craig above John Paul.

Craig's hands fell to the edge of JP's t-shirt. He grabbed it and practically ripped it from the blonde's chest. He threw it to side and kissed his younger friend again.

He then moved to JP's neck, alternating between sucking and biting ever so gently at the skin. He moved to John Paul's chest and kissed his way from one nipple to the other. He moved further down to the John Paul's belly button. He kissed it and gently blew into it before retracing his path back to his boyfriend's lips.

He lost himself in the pools of blue for a moment before moving down John Paul's body once more. His hands shook as he worked the clasp of the belt buckle. Laughing gently, he looked up at his lover.

John Paul was biting down on his lower lip, his eyes thrown to the ceiling. Finally, Craig opened the belt and undid the fly. He removed his own top and vest and threw it in the same direction as John Paul's.

Raising himself, John Paul helped Craig remove his jeans. Collapsing back down again, John Paul closed his eyes in anticipation. He felt the warmth of fingers as they gently curled themselves around his hardness.

He moaned as Craig's hand began to move up and down in a slow, seductive touch.

Craig was enthralled. He never thought he'd have another man's dick in his hand, yet here he was, pleasuring the one man he had ever fallen in love with, with his own hand.

Watching and hearing John Paul's reactions, Craig knew he was doing it right. Taking the initiative, he decided to do something that John Paul had done for him during their first time together. Lowering himself to the bed, Craig just watched as his hand stroked his boyfriend's hardness. Even though they had had sex a couple of times, this was the first time he was up close to it.

He moved his face closer and, taking the first step, slowly moved his tongue out. He tentatively worked the shaft before working it all.

John Paul felt the warm breath of the boy of his dreams on his arousal and gasped in both surprise and anticipation. When Craig's tongue began to move up and down him, he almost stopped breathing. But then the tongue was gone. He figured that was the end of Craig's exploration. But then he felt those lips that he had often dreamt off sliding down his length, he knew this was in reality.

Craig tested what John Paul liked and didn't like, before finally getting into a rhythm that they were both comfortable with. Craig didn't know how long he had been doing this, but soon he saw John Paul's toes curling up, felt the quilt pulled quickly and heard the younger boy's intake of breath.

"Cr-Craig," John Paul groaned, his head thrashing side to side on his pillow, "Craig…" he moaned, before throwing his head back and groaning his lover's name impossibly loud.

Craig was shocked at first. He hadn't expected John Paul's essence that quickly, but knew that there was nothing he could do. He felt John Paul spasm and shake in his mouth as he was filled with John Paul.

Once he was sure John Paul had calmed down, Craig slowly released him from his mouth. John Paul dragged his face to his and kissed Craig hard, tasting himself in his mouth.

"What was that for?" he asked, once he had finally recovered his breath.

Craig looked away sheepishly, drawing small circles on John Paul's chest.

"I…I dunno, I wanted to make you feel good and I wanted to see what it was like from the other end and I…" Craig said, his voice lowering considerably as he said the last part.

"You wanted to what?" John Paul asked, kissing the top of Craig's head.

"I wanted to taste you."

John Paul's face broke out into a joyful smile as his hands fell to Craig's own arousal, still encased in denim.

"I think you need to get out of these," John Paul said, switching his place with Craig. He tried to follow Craig's path, but his mind wasn't working too well since his earth-shattering arrival.

"Give a guy a hand here?" John Paul asked, as he came to a stop with the tricky belt that Craig was wearing.

Smirking, Craig placed his interlaced hands behind his head, propping it up, and said "Guess we're a lot alike."

------

The boys, comfortably numb, slept till three that afternoon, before getting up after hearing a number of the McQueen women returning home. Actually, that's what woke them from their slumber. They only heard snippets of an argument that was going on between Carmel and Jacqui, but they also heard JP's mother and Michaela piping in every once in a while.

Craig sat up on the bed and sighed.

"No time like the present," he said quietly, before shaking John Paul to wake him.

"I think we should tell them now," he said to John Paul, who also sat up in the bed.

"Are you sure?"

"I want you. I want to be with you. We have to tell them sometime, why not start now?"

Kissing him proudly, John Paul then grabbed a packet of mints off his bed side table.

"Morning breath," he said to Craig, popping one is mouth before offering the pack to Craig. John Paul then went in search of his clothes that Craig had haphazardly discarded earlier on.

Once dressed, both lads moved down stairs to the living room, finding the four McQueens sitting around the box, each with a cup of tea in their hands.

Myra, first to hear the creaking floorboards from their footsteps, was also the first to notice the boys holding hands.

"Afternoon love," Myra said to her son as he stepped of the last step first. Noticing the nervous looks the boys shared, and the tightened grasp of their hands, Myra realised that this was the moment's truth.

Walking in front of the and blocking TV, John Paul looked at the members of his family.

"Craig and I have something to tell you."


	7. Part 7

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.  
**Word Count:** 1,940  
**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

------

**Part 7**

The two lads were sitting on the McQueen sofa, Craig lying across the younger boy's chest. The two were happily watching Richard and Judy natter away as Myra brewed a fresh pot of tea. In this unusual quiet moment in the McQueen Household, John Paul's thoughts returned to when him and Craig came down the stairs earlier that afternoon.

As expected, the members of the McQueen family had welcomed Craig with open arms, but a fair warning not to hurt the only boy in their family like he had at football practice.

Craig had whole heartedly denied any intentions of breaking JP's heart again, nor attack him with fist or foot.

His sister's had scampered quickly out of the house. John Paul looked at his mother with so much happiness that she couldn't help but grin widely too.

Myra then asked one simple question to Craig.

"Are you in love with him?"

Craig faced his boyfriend and caressed his cheek.

"More than I ever knew possible," was his reply.

The two had then taken the empty sofa as their own and wrapped themselves around each other in an embrace as Myra packed away the shopping she had returned home with.

Hearing a contented sigh escape his lover's lips, John Paul returned to the present and gazed down at the brown eyed boy lovingly.

"Comfy there, are ya?" He asked, stroking Craig's hair.

"Best seat in the house," He quietly said.

Craig pushed himself up and looked into the blue pools of John Paul's eyes and tenderly pressed their lips together for a moment before pulling back and lying down again.

"Love you," he said contentedly, laying himself across the fair haired boy again.

"Love you too," John Paul replied, kissing the brown eyed boy on the top of the head.

Myra returned carrying three cups, placing two before her son and his boyfriend. Slightly embarrassed, Craig sat up and blushed.

"Thanks Mrs. McQueen."

"Please, love, its Myra… you're practically family now!" Myra said, chuckling at the pair of them.

Feeling brave from her welcoming smile, Craig leaned into JP and rested his head against his shoulder, their hands joined before him. Smiling at the affectionate side of his boyfriend, John Paul kissed the top of Craig's head and reached out for his mug, as Craig did the same.

Both sipped slowly at the tea as they returned their attention to the TV, unaware that Myra was watching them together.

Her eyes first found their connection. They were completely vulnerable and comfortable with each other in their spaces, and they both looked impossibly happy.

Myra knew that the two had had a bond that went deeper than normal fella's, but she never expected for Craig to have the same feelings as her only son had. But seeing them there, leaning into and against each other, it made perfect sense to her now that they should be together.

And that's when she noticed Craig's hand sensually stroking up and down her son's chest. She sipped quickly at her tea, drinking a lot down, before returning her mug to the coffee table.

Getting to her feet, Myra grabbed her jacket and handbag from the banister and cleared her throat.

"I'm going over to the Dog… give you two some privacy."

Both boys said goodbye, but JP also mouthed the word 'thanks' to her as she opened the front door.

She whispered, "You're welcome," as she looked at her son and his boyfriend share a quick kiss.

The door closing made Craig raised himself up and then lower himself back into his position from earlier.

"I thought she'd never leave!" He joked, throwing his arms around JP's neck and drawing John Paul's lips to his own.

Pulling him down on top of his body, Craig and kissed slowly at first, just enjoying the moment. But once John Paul pushed his tongue against the seam of Craig's lips, all gentleness was thrown to the wayside.

The two, still kissing, shifted into a comfortable position; with JP finding himself between Craig's raised legs.

His hands roaming below the edge of Craig's polo shirt, JP roamed his hands over bronze skin.

A spark passed between them, causing Craig to involuntary thrust up into blonde haired DJ's lap.

Another spark was shared.

Craig's lips kissed the corner of the younger boy's mouth before moving low, to John Paul's pulse point. Sucking on it gently, Craig was pleased to hear his lover groan appreciatively and crash his crotch to the one below.

Craig then kissed John Paul's adam's apple, watching it bounce in his throat before licking at the skin. He returned his mouth up, towards John Paul's neck. He gently nibbled and sucked at the flesh, enjoying the sounds from his lover.

"Get up," Craig passionately said, forcing JP up. He then pushed him down onto the other side of the sattee, again crashing their mouths together before drawing a line of kisses back down to John Paul's neck.

"Better?" John Paul asked, leaning his head to the side, allowing the brown eyed boy better access to his neck.

"Much!"

John Paul's hands returned to their rightful place beneath the older boy's shirt, earning a momentary lapse of kissing to his neck. He drew his hands down and grabbed the fabric, gently pulling the shirt off Craig's body.

Sitting on his lap, Craig shifted a bit so as not to wind the boy below him.

John Paul, for a moment, was frozen. His eyes were glued to the muscles beneath the bronzed body before him .Their breaths were short and shallow, and as Craig pulled JP's shirt over his head, he knew that it was going to be a quick, yet passionate, fumble.

Chuckling to himself, Craig stroked John Paul's chest.

"God, what a difference a day makes, eh?"

Smiling back, John Paul took the other's hands in his and squeezed lovingly.

"You're okay with this, right? I don't want to scare you off…"

Cupping John Paul's face in his hands, Craig lowered his face so much that they were breathing each others air.

"I love you… what could I be afraid off with you by my side… you've been saving my skin since the day we met…"

"And I'd do it all again," John Paul replied, kissing him slowly.

"Really?" Craig asked as they surfaced for air.

"In a heartbeat."

"God, I love you so much," Craig said, drawing John Paul into a tight embrace, his hands running caressing where ever they could. Craig felt excitement at the touch of skin on skin, and the electricity that they shared.

"I love you too," John Paul sighed, kissing Craig's check as he clutched at his lover.

And when they kissed for the umpteenth time that day, it was a slow and loving affair, and they took their time to enjoy each other's lips… the feel of their bare chests rubbing together and the love that was building even larger in their hearts.

And it was all interrupted when the front door swung open and a very pissed off Mercedes McQueen stormed in, throwing her bag to the floor as Russ meekly walked in behind her, his face red with embarrassment at the sight of the private moment on the couch.

"Mercy! Jesus, what the hell is wrong with ya!?" John Paul asked, grabbing his and Craig's tops from the floor and, checking he had his own, pulling it over his head.

Craig was looking at his wool covered feet, his trainers left forgotten in John Paul's bedroom. John Paul got to his feet and crossed his arms.

"What's the big problem?"

"You," She started, pointing first at John Paul and then at Craig, "you and lover boy here! 3 months ago he beat the snot out of ya, now it's all 'we're in love'? Where's your pride, John Paul? Eh?" She snarled, hands on her hips as she flipped her hair from her eyes.

"He's apologised enough times to you, and I've forgiven him! That should be enough for you!"

"Enough? So I should just accept the fact that my baby brother is now all lovey-dovey with the guy that beat him up 'cause he didn't want to be called a queer?"

"I'm not gay," Came Craig's reply.

"I'm sorry, what? We just caught you two snogging on the sofa! I think that makes you a bender, Dean!"

"I am not gay," He said meekly, not looking away from the stray strand in the sock.

"I don't think 'John Paul-sexual' is an actual orientation, mate," Russ stated, stepping up beside his fiancé.

John Paul sniggered as he sat down again.

"He's bi, Mercedes… remember that girl he used to go out with, Sarah?"

"Oh, so he's dumped her, has he?" Mercedes questioned. After all his denying, she knew that Craig-flipping-Dean wouldn't dump his model-to-be girlfriend if his life depended on it.

"He did that this morning."

Her mouth fell open in shock. That was something completely unexpected. Was this what her mother had tried to tell her as she was storming home from her shift at the pub?

"Oh," Was all she could say.

"We'll just be getting out of your way, right Mercedes?" Russ said, guiding his girlfriend to the door and out of the house, not giving her a chance to reply.

The clap of the door shutting knocked the two boys into silence. Craig was lost in his thoughts. Gay, Bi and Straight kept swarming in his head, and he felt sick with them. Everything comes down to labels. And he has never liked labels. Always had he been known as that weird Dean kid, or the brainy geek or just the baby by Steph. And now it was coming into who he loved.

And that's all that really should matter, he thought. Who I love. No need for labels or questions. Just the one that makes me loses sight of me when all I can see is him. The person that makes my heart sing. Makes my blood boil in my veins. Makes my heartbeat go pitter-patter in my chest.

In all of his life, he'd never wanted someone so much as he'd wanted John Paul McQueen. Even though his soul mate was another guy, it didn't matter. Craig couldn't last not being with the blonde haired, blue eyed DJ.

"Craig?" John Paul said, breaking the eerie silence that surrounded them, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay… look, I'm sorry about the whole 'I'm not gay' thing, I really am. It's just.." He started, sighing as he tried to find the right words.

"It's just, all my life has been ruled by labels – geek, freak, nerd… and I just can't take it coming to me in another form."

Craig took John Paul's hands in his and forced him to look at him.

"All that should matter is who I love, not what gender they are…And I love you too much not to be with you… even if it's not what others expect of me…. I want you so much that it would kill me not to be with you."

He leaned in for a kiss and his mind was drawn back to the Dance-Off. The kiss they shared now was as loving as then, but contained an intensity that neither could place.

They lost themselves in their embrace. It was nearing 15 minutes when Craig pulled back and got off the couch. Pulling JP to his feet, Craig led the way towards John Paul's bedroom… their own private sanctuary.

He wanted and desperately needed to show John Paul just how much he meant to him.


	8. Part 8

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.  
**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.  
**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.  
**Word Count:** 2,482**  
Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

------

**Part 8**

"Tell me you want me," John Paul moaned, thrusting into the lithe body below him. Craig's legs, wrapped tight around his lovers lower back, pulled JP down onto him.

"I want you… God, I want you so much!" he replied.

Hands grabbing at John Paul's head, Craig pulled him down and attacked his lips with such passion that he even scared himself.

Tongue's caressed. Bodies joined; in motion. The heat in the room was sweltering. The sheets below saturated with sweat. Hands stroking bare skin. Eyes joined; blue and brown.

"Tell me you love me…" John Paul groaned, his breathing heavy and fast.

"With all my heart."

John Paul crashed hard into Craig's body, his orgasm rushing through his system as his toes curled in pleasure. Feeling John Paul's warmth deep inside him, Craig kissed any skin he could reach as his own cock began releasing himself.

Warm, wet and sticky, the boys fell onto the mattress, their bodies gluing together after Craig's release.

His head resting against Craig's chest, John Paul fell into the land of nod.

Craig was sated, yet completely content. In the arms of his soul mate, the boy he loved, Craig was incredibly happy. In the past 24 hours his very thoughts had done a full 180 degree turn. Before, his mind was torn in two. Now, he was comfortable in his own skin, relaxed about who he was becoming… who he always had been, before he had paid any attention to his own feelings.

Meeting JP so many months ago, even if he thought he was a weirdo, had pushed his feelings, ones he had hidden for years, into the forefront of his thoughts. How, at some times, he found himself being attracted to other guys.

Now, he could bask in these relaxing moments of having the guy of his dreams. Closing his eyes, Craig let sleep take hold and carry him off to those dreams.

-----

Around half eight that night, John Paul awoke to find the house brimming with activity. Sleepily lifting his head from his boyfriend's chest, John Paul groaned as he heard a loud crash downstairs.

"Another mug smashed," he mumbled into Craig's chest as he rested his head again.

"And not the first one of the night," Craig replied as he kissed the top of his lovers head, "We need to stop falling asleep; otherwise we won't sleep a wink tonight," he joked, breathing in the aroma known as John Paul McQueen.

"At least we'll be fully rested if we do any more… activities."

Blushing, John Paul buried his head further into Craig's chest.

Comfortable in their surroundings, the boys fell silent. The only sound that could be heard in their sanctuary was their slow breathing.

"I think we should head to the Dog… tell my mum. If Mercedes did storm out of her shift, you just know that Jack and Darren will have told my mum something's going on. And Sarah… she must've told her parents. And we all know what your 'Chaela is like!" Craig rambled, willing his hand to stop shaking.

"Shush," John Paul whispered. Leaning up, he tenderly kissed Craig's lips, "You're just nervous."

"With you at my side, I'll be fine… you will still come with me, right?"

"I'd follow you to hell if had to."

Disentangling himself from the brown haired boy, John Paul grabbed his clothes and began to dress. Following the lead, Craig sat up and sighed. He took his clothes that JP had retrieved from the floor and started to dress.

"I still can't believe you're here with me," JP said, a smile breaking out on his porcelain face.

"Neither can I. But I wouldn't change a thing… well, maybe one thing."

"Yeah?" John Paul asked, pulling his hoodie over his head.

"Yeah… the fight. If I had the power to, I'd take it back. To be honest, if I could change anything, it would be the Dance Off."

John Paul stopped moving. Sitting up straight, his eyes wide, he searched Craig's for his reasoning before speaking.

"Change it how?"

"When I kissed you… I wouldn't have pulled back. I woulda kept going. You know, gave into me feelings, not into my fear. I could've kissed you forever in that gym, if I wasn't so scared about people finding out."

"And now you're not?" John Paul asked, throwing his arm around Craig's shoulder and pulling him close.

"I spent too much time hiding my true self… it's time I was just Craig."

Kissing his cheek, JP shot to his feet and offered his hand to Craig. Accepting his hand, Craig was pulled to his own feet. Once standing, he pulled John Paul into a tight embrace, rubbing circles into his back. He'd never felt so protected and loved as he did when he was in John Paul's arm.

Pulling back, Craig slid his feet into his trainers and smiled at his boyfriend.

"C'mon, we can't hide in here forever... as much as I'd like too."

Like earlier that afternoon, the boys took a mint each. Craig laced his fingers with John Paul's and the pair headed for the stairs.

------

In the McQueen sitting room was Michaela and Carmel, watching television, and in the kitchen was Myra, Jacqui and Tina. Tina had a dustpan and brush in her hand and was on her knees, presumably clearing up the smashed mug that they boys heard breaking earlier that night.

Whispering to his elder sister, John Paul asked Carmel what happened.

"Tina and Merc had a major row over the wedding. Apparently they both wanna get married on the same day, Nana's birthday. Anyway, Tine said that Mercy was only having it on that date 'cause it was when Tina wanted to have it. Then Mercy flung the cup against the wall and stormed out," Carmel said, her eyes sparkling as she shared the gossip.

"Oi, shut it, will ya, I'm trying to watch Corrie! That David ain't half hot!" Michaela said, dreamily.

"Not as much as that Todd bloke was… he had such nice eyes."

All three McQueens turned to face the Dean boy. JP was trying his hardest not to laugh, Carmel had a wishy-washy smile on her face, and Michaela had a look on her face like something died and was starting to smell really bad.

"Ugh, you're such a gay!" She groaned, turning back to the box.

"I liked him TOO Craig! He was just so sweet, wasn't he?" Carmel said, her eyes twinkling as she remembered Todd Grimshaw's smile.

Like a cat caught in the head lights, Craig made a whimpering noise and nearly pulled John Paul's arm from his socket.

Now outside, John Paul's laughter shattered the quiet street. He was bent over, his face wet with tears of laughter. Craig, who at first felt embarrassed, now felt bored. His boyfriend was almost on the ground in stitches over something minimal that he'd said.

Standing up, John Paul tried to quieten his gasps for breath. He caught sight of Craig's face and tried harder.

"Are ya alright now? Calmed down enough?" Craig asked, his arms crossed as JP moved towards him.

"Yeah, think I've gotten over the shock!"

"What shock? I just said that I thought he looked good, not much of a big deal."

Taking Craig's hand in his, John Paul squeezed it comfortingly and then kissed his lover's cheek.

"I know that Craig, but it's just… to hear you say that another man was good looking kinda throws a spanner in your whole 'I'm not gay' spiel, doesn't it?"

His cheeks reddening, Craig gave a quick laugh and placed his hand over JP's.

"I guess it does. Now come on, we have to get to the Dog."

------

The Dog in the Pond public house was quiet for this time on a weekday. Propping the bar was Leo Valentine, a half finished pint in his hand and another waiting to be touched on the bar. At one of the tables was Zak and Darren, both of them laughing loudly at some comment that Zoë had said.

Behind the bar, Jack was drying glasses with his dish cloth, awaiting the arrival of new customers.

"Craig, son, we were wondering if you'd be coming home at all today!" He exclaimed, noticing his step-son and his best friend as they moved to the flat door.

"Uh, Jack, is mum upstairs?" Craig quietly asked.

"Yeah, she is. Steph's upstairs too. They're both watching baby Charlie tonight, so that Jake and Nancy can have a bit of a breather."

"Okay…," Craig said, quickly glancing at Darren and then the boy beside him, before returning his gaze to his step-father, "Erm, Jack, I was wondering if you could come upstairs for minute… I have something to tell you all."

Seeing the worried look on the boys face, Jack agreed and called out his son's name.

"Yeah?" Darren asked, joining his dad behind the bar.

"I need ya to look after the bar for a couple of minutes, okay?" Jack said, looking at the two's boys before him.

Smirking, Darren winked at Craig and John Paul before agreeing to help out.

Leading the way upstairs, Jack called out to Frankie and her daughter to meet them in the living room.

Using the excuse of getting a cup of tea, Craig and John Paul slinked off to the kitchen. Turning the cold water tap as far as it could go, Craig splashed the water over his warm face. He grabbed a stray glass from the sideboard and filled it to the brim with fresh cold water. He drank the glass dry and gasped as it stung his tongue.

"I feel sick…" He mumbled, splashing more water onto his face.

"Looks like they don't know which is good. It means they won't hear it as some gossip in the village."

John Paul stood behind him and drew him close, wrapping his arms around Craig's chest.

"I'm glad you're here with me… I don't think I could do it on my own."

"I'm not gonna leave you high and dry, Craig. I'm in too deep to let go."

Turning on the spot, Craig grasped at John Paul's hips, "Me too."

He pecked at John Paul's lips, drawing comfort from them, before John Paul took a step back. Breathing out, Craig ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Time to face 'em."

------

Frankie Osborne knew something was up the instance her husband said that Craig had something big to tell them all.

In all honesty, she'd expected something like this to happen ever since that disaster back in February. But as the days and the weeks and months passed, she breathed a sigh of relief thinking the storm had passed.

But the winds had picked up, the clouds were rolling in, and the temperature was falling drastically.

Here comes the hurricane, she thought.

She smiled brightly when her youngest son returned to the sitting room with a fresh glass of water, and scowled when his best friend followed him in.

If truth be told, she didn't like John Paul McQueen, or any of the McQueen's. She found them to loud, boisterous and pig-ignorant. Always out for themselves, or anything in a pair of trousers.

Glancing at Jack, who seemed to already know what this was all about, Frankie cleared her throat and looked at her son.

"Craig, love, what's this big news you have to tell us?" She asked, rolling the baby monitor around in her hands.

"I…I-I… God, this shouldn't be this hard, I had it all planned out in my head before we left…" Craig said, puffing out a vast amount of air. Placing his hand on Craig's back, John Paul gently rubbed circles into the boys back.

Drawing comfort from the touch, Craig sipped at his water before continuing.

"Mum… Steph… Jack… I'm ga…I'm gay."

There he'd finally said it. And he'd meant it as well. God, it felt like a weight had been removed from his shoulders. He smiled at his boyfriend before looking at his family's reaction.

Steph had gasped as her brother's news echoed in her ears before chuckling at the revelation.

Jack looked down, knowing that his inkling had been spot on.

Craig could tell, even without words, that those two would be okay in time with his honesty. His mother was the one he was most worried about.

The baby monitor fell from Frankie's hands as her eyes started stinging with tears. Her hand shot to her mouth as the bile burned its way up her throat. She raced to the kitchen. A retching sound reverberated through the too-quiet flat. Water ran. A sob was heard.

And then his mother stomped back into the sitting room.

"What have you done to my boy? My baby boy! He's not gay! He's with Sarah, he loves Sarah! They're moving to Dublin once all they get their results. What have YOU done to him?" She roared.

She ran at John Paul, her hand raised to strike him when he was within reach. When he was within her grasp, Craig suddenly stepped between the two. But Frankie's arm was already in motion. The crack as her palm me her son's face was like gunshot in some empty alley way.

"Craig… I'm so sorry… It's all my fault … I didn't bring you up right, ever since you're dad ran off with that girl… it's my mistake that you're… that you're with HIM!"

"Mum… I love John Paul. We're in love."

"No," She sobbed, her hand at her mouth again, as she tried to stop her tears.

Jack strode across the room to his wife and attempted to take her in his arms.

"No! I just need to be left alone… she whispered, as moved to the stairs. A crying Charlie could be heard.

The remaining four stood in silence as the baby' cries carried through the flat.

Steph was the first to breach the silence. Once again, she was laughing.

"I always thought you were gay, Craig… it's those bloody cardigans… they always screamed 'no style' to me… and everyone knows that gay guys have the best style… Oh my God, we need to go shopping!" She exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

"What? Why?"

"We need to get you some 'out and proud' clothes!"

Chuckling, Craig hugged his sister close.

"I'm glad you're okay with this."

"Course I would be, you're my brother."

She kissed his cheeked and then removed herself from his arms.

"Well, I'm going to go… I'm meeting Elliot in the SU Bar."

She waved bye and was gone.

And then there were three.

"Jack," Craig started, audibly swallowing.

"No, I get to speak first."

Jack crossed the room and stood before the boys.

It was in this moment that Craig understood why Jack had entered the Police force.


	9. Part 9

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.

**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.

**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.

**Word Count:** 1,619

**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

------

**Part 9**

Darren Osborne heard the yelling from upstairs echo through the quiet pub, the sobs of his step-mother, and the screeching cheers of his step-sister.

He had asked Steph what had happened, but she just smiled and told him to wait his turn.

His father had returned downstairs shortly afterwards, his eyes a-wash with unshed tears, and Darren was released from his service.

And then Craig and John Paul arrived, hand in hand, sharing a smile and a giggle.

"Aww, did ickle Craig-y come out?"

"Yeah, I did, now shove off."

Craig grinned at Darren, kissed John Paul's cheek, and the two settled at the bar. Jack arrived, offering the couple two bottles of lager.

Shocked, Darren returned behind the bar and stared incredulously at the two.

"You mean he really is your boyfriend?" He asked John Paul, glancing between the two and his father.

"Yeah," John Paul started, taking Craig's hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly, "Yeah, he is."

Smirking, Darren faced his father and held out his hand.

"Pay up, old man!"

Jack sighed but willingly retrieved his wallet and withdrew ten pounds, which was quickly snapped out of his hand by his son. Darren was now doing a kind of happy dance that making the boys laugh heartily before he stopped and bowed at the two. He then got a bottle for himself and raised it.

"Here's to the happy couple!" He cheered, swallowing some of the lager.

JP and Craig joined him in the toast.

"Wait a minute… did you bet with Jack that me and John Paul would get together?"

"Yep, I did! Back when he started seeing that Spike bloke… it was just obvious that something was up, and I said to dad 'I bet that Craig tells us all that he's gay and that he's in love with John Paul before his exams finished' and here we are, not even three days since they started, and I won the bet!"

He held out the tenner above his head and cheered enthusiastically before slipping it into the pocket of his shirt. He took another couple of gulps before bowing once more.

John Paul and Jack couldn't help but chuckle at his antics as he began 'I knew it!' dance.

"Thanks very much! I'll be here all week, enjoy the veal!"

And with that statement, Darren was gone.

Laughing still, Jack took a deep breathe to settle himself before talking to the young couple before him.

"Craig, son, I meant what I said: You'll always be Craig to me, no matter who you're in love with. You just need to give your mother time… in the end; you're still her little boy. She'll just have to adjust to seeing you kissing John Paul instead of Sarah."

Jack placed his hand on Craig's shoulder and squeezed lightly, his whole body pouring with reassurance to and pride for his step-son. He was so glad that Craig was brave was even able to tell them such a heavy subject. He had, as an officer of the law, seen so many young people get lost in a downward spiral of confusion, alcohol, crime, drugs and random sexual encounters that he was overpowered with Craig's ability to tell the world the love he had for John Paul McQueen.

Craig laughed and looked at his feet, "I think we'll keep the PDA's down when Mum's around, thanks very much! That would be too embarrassing!"

Jack was called away by a punter, and as he left he smiled at the two lads before him as they drank there lager.

Craig, with one hand holding a lager, the other his boyfriend's, was floating on cloud nine. He, for the life of him, could not quite believe that he was now sitting there, in the family pub, holding his BOYFRIENDS hand as the slowly drank beer. Back in February, just three agonising months ago, Craig knew that he wanted this but was terrified at the looks of rejection and disgust and disbelief he would receive from his family, his friends, and random people in the street.

But here he was, bold as brass, in the cold harsh light of day, holding hands with a boy.

And it was the best thing he had ever felt in his life.

"You okay?" John Paul asked, breaking Craig from his thoughts.

"I'm better than okay," He replied, squeezing the other's hand affectionately. He returned his bottle to the bar-top and rested it gently against the younger mans cheek. He stroked his face softly with his thumb, his eyes darting from those piercing blue eyes and those kissable lips.

"I'm so glad that you still felt for me… I know it took me a while to get here… and I know I hurt you so much… but I want to make that disappear… I want to replace the bad memories with happy ones."

His nipped at John Paul's lips affectionately at first, his hand still cupping his boyfriends face. JP opened his lips and Craig took full advantage as his tongue darted inside the blue eyed man's mouth, fighting and caressing as it went, tasting everything that was John Paul.

------

Jake Dean had heard it all. His wife had had an affair with a student, not even sixteen, and had lost her life in prison at a result of his actions.

He had killed Mrs. Valentine, in his anger and fear and rage, driving away once he had fully comprehended what he had done.

He had seen his brother become entirely entranced by that McQueen boy, almost to the point of hero-worship that Jake himself had received in the past.

And now he was sitting outside Nancy's room, listening to the voice of said brother's girlfriend, now ex it would seem, as she told Nancy that Craig had dumped her for said McQueen boy through sniffling, sobbing and yelling.

"He's been lying to us all, to me, for months! He's gay! He say's he's in love with John Paul!" Sarah finished, throwing her arms around Nancy for the fifth time that afternoon.

Nancy's floor was covered in used tissue paper, as Nancy's stereo played sung out with the voice of Gary Lightbody. Sarah had arrived an hour ago, and had spent most of that hour cursing Craig and sobbing her heart out.

Jake had to see this development for himself, with his own eyes. He grabbed his keys, his jacket, and launched into action.

------

One moment Craig was sitting in his seat, making out with his boyfriend, the next he was on his feet, John Paul at his side, his brother at his feet. It had been instinct for Craig to defend his lover, to protect him. He did what came naturally, and decked Jake. He knew that Jake would have problems with Craig's choice of life, but to attempt to punch JP? He thought his brother was better than that.

"Can't you see? He's messing with your head! He's using you for some game!"

John Paul noticed his boyfriends bleeding knuckles and gently took his hand in his own. His view from the floor made his stomach lurch, his head ache, and his knuckles clench.

"How can being in love with him be a game?" Craig asked.

"It's not love, 'cos you're not a poofter! You love Sarah!"

"No I don't… she made me sick in the pit of my stomach… she was narcissistic and vain and made my skin crawl."

"So this is what you want to be? A shirt lifter?"

"It's GAY Jake!" JP said, grabbing a cloth from behind the bar to stop Craig's bleeding.

"Yeah, well that's not Craig!" Jake replied, returning to his feet. He felt his jaw, already a lump was growing.

"So what am I then Jake?" Craig asked with such power and determination that Jake took a step back.

"You're Craig… you like pints and footie and Razorlight, and cars and…"

"I still like them, but I like John Paul too… I'm still me, only I'm myself completely now."

"So even when you were with Darlene, you liked fella's?"

"I think I've always fancied blokes, yeah, but John is the only that I've ever loved."

Jake was stuck. He knew that the person before was still the same old Craig, but everything in his head was screaming to him that Craig couldn't be gay… he had Sarah Barnes for crying out loud!

"What about Sarah?"

Craig's eyes looked disappointed for a moment, before returning to their blazing pride the next.

"What about her?"

"C'mon, you can't tell me you were just acting with her! Not only is she gorgeous, but Mum told me all about the time she walked in on you two in your room - you seemed very straight then!"

"I'm a man Jake, and sex is sex."

The crowd in the pub had quietened once Jake Dean had stormed inside, but now you could've heard a penny drop. Jake was in the throws of disgust, rage and fear. His brother couldn't be gay. He just couldn't.

The youngest of the three removed the wrap from Craig's fingers to find the bleeding had ceased. He tossed the rag to Jack, who dumped it in the trash before joining the couple's side.

"Jake, son, I think it's best if you leave – get some fresh air and clear your thoughts," He requested, guiding a stunned Jake from the pub.

Craig's face was red with embarrassment as he finally realized the whole pub had witnessed his and his brother's argument.

He turned to his soul mate and felt a sob he didn't know was there escape his lungs.

"Let's go upstairs… I have to wash your hand."


	10. Part 10

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.

**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.

**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.

**Word Count:** 1,568

**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

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**Part 10**

_Two Months Later…_

So much had changed for the young lovers in such a short space of time.

For Craig, he'd gone being confused and lost to being at his most confident in all his life and he found himself finally understanding what love was really all about. He found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with his boyfriend that he couldn't bring himself to be apart from the blond haired boy.

Craig had been thrown a surprise 19th birthday by his boyfriend and his sister in the Dog, where there was a gathering of his friends and family – Dean's, Osborne's and McQueen's. – With the obvious avoidance of Sarah and, to his downtrodden heart, Jake. But with Nancy, Hannah and his John Paul there to celebrate the night with him, he couldn't have cared that his brother was an idiot in the slightest.

Frankie, having to play hostess for the evening, alongside Jack, had not only congratulated JP for throwing a successful party, she had also held, what Craig could only call 'an honest to goodness chat', with Myra McQueen.

By the end of the night, Frankie had called for pictures to be taken. One of the Dean/Osborne tribe was taken, one of just John Paul and Craig – bright grins and their arms around their partners' waists – and one of John Paul, Craig, Frankie and Myra.

His gift from John Paul was a CD of a song that JP had himself wrote and played on his guitar in his bedroom the day before. Craig had immediately had Spike play it on this system before grabbing John Paul and bringing him to the centre of the dance floor.

As John Paul's voice began to sing out through the speakers, Craig's eyes became a-wash with tears of purest joy. At that moment, he was at his most content. He pulled John Paul tight against his body and kissed him with all the love he felt for him.

If truth be told, it was the happiest night that Craig could remember in a long time – his soul mate, and his mother in the same room, actually getting along… it was the happiest he had been in a long time.

Two weeks later, they'd celebrated the end of their exams with a vast amount of pints in the Dog. The boys along with Nancy and Hannah had drank and danced and laughed the day away. Their celebrations would've continued well into the night if Melissa had not arrived in the Dog, snapping at Hannah for drinking those 'sugary injections of fat' into her system. She scowled at the others as Hannah gathered her things and was suddenly gone.

After her departure, Jake had arrived to inform Nancy that her mother had arrived and was in getting increasingly annoying. Jake, seething and spitting, called out to Darren to buy the 'gay boys the next round of girly cocktails' before taking grasp of Nancy's hand and marching from the pub.

John Paul and Craig sat quietly at their table for a couple of minutes, trying to comprehend what had just occurred before them. Craig then made the decision that the duo would retire to his bedroom above. Craig interlocked his fingers with his boyfriends and guided him upstairs, ignoring the smirk on Darren's face.

The duo entered the living room to find Jack and Frankie having an afternoon break, two steaming cups of tea before them on the coffee table. The boys said hello, having sobered up quite quickly at the departure of their friends and entered the kitchen. Craig whined at John Paul to make him a cuppa and won out, after making an offer of the sexual kind once they had entered the sanctuary of Craig's bedroom.

Once the tea was made, the duo re-entered the living room where they stopped in their track by Frankie asking the boys what were they were going to do now that their summer was free of the stress of exams.

Craig started saying maybe a summer holiday in Spain or France with John Paul, whilst John Paul said spending time with Craig.

Frankie had given an 'aww' at the comment and allowed the couple to return on their path to Craig's room.

Once secluded in Craig's room, the boys sat side by side on his bed, talking about nothing and everything all at once. Craig got up, chose some soft music on his computer and returned to JP's side.

It still came as a shock to the two of them that Craig's mother had become so understanding so fast. In the beginning, she had been cold to not only John Paul but to Craig also that they feared she would never accept their relationship. But now, it was as if she had accepted that, for her baby boy to be happy, then she would have to get used to the sight of him and his boyfriend holding hands, kissing and doing all that other couple-y stuff right in front of her.

The boys had finished their tea and just lay side by side in the single bed, holding each other in a tight embrace.

And, just yesterday, Craig was getting changed into a suit alongside John Paul in his bedroom for the McQueen double wedding. He had been included in the wedding party; he would be leading Myra down the aisle to her seat and remaining at her side throughout the ceremony.

"Still can't believe your Mercedes is actually getting married!" Craig had joked, throwing a furtive glance at JP as he buttoned his shirt closed.

"Hey, that's my sister you're talking about!" John Paul replied, shoving his shoulder into Craig's as he tied up his tie.

"Well, as far as you mum's concerned, I'm already her son-in-law… "

John Paul blushed at Craig, who was now fully dressed and just about to head downstairs. Suddenly, the door burst open and their stood Mercedes McQueen, her curlers still in her hair and her white bathrobe wrapped tight around her body.

"'Ave ye two seen Russ at all? He's run away!"

Both Craig and JP shook their heads and Mercy ran down the stairs once more.

Craig faced John Paul and shrugged his shoulders.

"I fear it may be a single wedding today." Craig had said, taking hold of John Paul's hand and leading him downstairs to the other family members.

After much searching, Russ had been found, and the two McQueen girls had made it down the aisle. Craig was sitting beside throughout the whole wedding and, despite the constant step backs, whooped cheerfully when both sisters were wed. Myra had hugged Craig tight for some time, saying it was the happiest day of her life. She had a twinkle in her eye as she looked to him and sought out her only son.

"It'll be you two next, won't it? I've never been to a civil partnership."

She watched as Craig missed her comments, his gaze caught on his beautiful blond.

Myra squeezed his hand, drawing his attention. She kissed his cheek and whispered to him.

"Make sure you look after my boy, alright? I know you won't intentionally hurt him… I've been this deep myself… Last time was with JP's dad… and look how that turned out…. Please Craig; don't break my son's heart."

Myra then left a dazed Craig standing in the middle of the church yard, his eyes brimming with tears once more. He had never felt such love for his boyfriend as he did right then.

He knew he had to follow Myra's advice.

Craig interrupted John Paul and Nana McQueen's conversation and dragged his lover to a quiet spot beneath a weeping willow.

Craig was constantly kissing John Paul's lips, cheeks, eye lids; any alabaster skin his mouth could reach was kissed.

JP was giddy with the attention he was receiving that he had held out a hand to stop Craig's onslaught.

"Hey… C…Craig, what's brought this on?" John Paul asked, through fits of laughter.

"I don't know know, the double wedding, all that romance… it all made me think how lucky I am to have you and how much I love you and… I wanted to ask you something before it became too late to change our plans… I was wondering, would you like to come to Dublin with me? If I get the right results and everything, I'd really want to be starting a new life with you in a new city…"Craig rambled, rubbing at the back of his neck.

JP, mouth open and laughter ceased, cleared his throat a number of times before approaching any semblance of an answer.

"I… Yeah, of course I'd love to go!"

Craig's eyes shimmered in joy and he took a nervous step towards John Paul.

"Really?"

"Really!" JP answered, bridging the gap between their two bodies. He gently nipped at Craig's lower lip with his teeth before passionately kissing him. His hands, now lost in Craig's hair, pulled that hot mouth ever closer to his own.

Minutes later, or maybe even months, or possibly years later, Craig broke away and gasped in air. He then kissed JP's cheek before leading him away from the wedding guests as the brides and grooms entered their car's back to the reception at the Dog.

"Let's have our own celebration, in your room!" Craig winked, kissing John Paul's mouth once more.


	11. Part 11

**Title: **I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.

**Summary: **All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.

**Author's Note: **Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.

**Word Count:**

**Disclaimer: **Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.

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**Part 11 (Epilogue - Sunset Ending)**

The taxi was booked, their bags packed, tickets and passports lying beside their jackets on Craig's desk. The boys had spent their final night in Hollyoaks together in Craig's room. It was a gift from Frankie, allowing the two lovers to be together after their farewell party in the Dog the night before.

They had kissed, and talked, laughed and cried, and made love until dawn was breaking the night sky and the two were content to just sleep till noon. Their flight wasn't till eight that evening and they only had to be there an hour before hand for check in and such.

They were awoken that morning by the fresh smell of a fry up and wandered into the kitchen, hand-in-hand, to find Darren, Jack, Myra and Frankie sitting around the breakfast table.

Seeing their mothers in the same room at the same time was becoming more and more common a sight for everyone involved and wasn't as strange a sight as Craig and JP thought it would be.

The six of them had joked and laughed through lunch, before Darren and Jack got up to help out in the bar.

Now only the four of them, the two Mothers became teary eyed and reminiscent. Talk fell to when the McQueen's first moved to Chester, the day the boys first met. The day of the Dance Off. The fight a week later was glazed over, all of them focusing on the happy moments.

Soon enough, the boys had spent 3 hours with their mothers and time was slipping fast away. Myra had to leave around three but said she would be here when the taxi arrived for them. She hugged both boy's good bye and left, drying her wet cheek.

Frankie disappeared downstairs to help out in the bar, but the duo knew it was so the two could have some peace and quiet before their short trip across the Irish Sea.

The two were lying on Craig's bed, arms wrapped around each other as they slowly kissed and caressed. They were sharing such a sweet moment that it felt like time had stood still.

"I still can't believe the day has arrived!" Craig exclaimed, smiling up brightly at his boyfriend before he rested his head back on the younger mans chest. His ear against JP's heart, Craig could hear the thump-thump of JP's heart. It was a soothing sound and Craig felt himself doze off.

It was JP gently rubbing his head that awoke him half an hour later.

They shared a quick kiss and were on there feet. They decided to take one final stroll through the village, as if saying good bye to the place.

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For Craig, the place was a place of wonder and a plague. He would miss it, his family and friends, but he couldn't wait to live his dream of attending Trinity with his boyfriend.

JP, it was this place that made him want to be open and free. He found love here, he made the best of friends here, and he would miss his family painfully.

The two wondered through the village, the park and returned to the Dog just as the McQueen arrived to say good bye to the only boy in the family. Craig and John Paul dashed upstairs to grab their bags and tickets and joined their family downstairs for one final good bye.

Craig and Steph were caught in a loving embrace for some time before Darren, ever the king of subtly, removed Craig from his step-sisters arms and took him into a very macho, manly hug. Jack waited for the two to separate and accepted the hand that Craig offered him. He smiled, shook his hand, and then pulled him into a bear hug. Whispering so only Jack could hear him, Craig told him that Johnno Dean may have given him life, but Jack was his true father, and hugged him even tighter. Not to Craig's disappointment, but to his expectations, Jake was not present once more.

JP was surrounded by his sisters in a McQueen sandwich, trying his hardest not to cry when both Michaela and Carmel told him to text everyday. He laughed when Jacqui produced a wrapped gift from her hand bag and whispered to him just in case. She then kissed his cheek and John Paul was swarmed by Tina. He and Tina had so much in common – they were both quiet in such a brash family, they were studious and polite – that they had a closeness about them that warmed any frozen heart.

When all siblings on the verge of tears, it was now Frankie and Myra's turn to say good bye.

It was a sea of tears from both mothers as they wished their sons well, blessed them on their travels and instructed them to call every day, or text if they didn't have time, under the threat of pain.

The taxi driver beeped his horn out side and the boys wistfully smiled at each other as their families aided them in carrying their luggage from the pub. The boys held hands, trying their hardest not to cry as they sat in the vehicle that would take them to John Lennon Airport. They watched their families through the rear window and waved good bye to them, and to Chester, for the time being.

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And here they were. In the queue for their check-in to their Air Dublin flight. The queue had not moved for five minutes, as a family of seven at the front had misplaced all seven tickets in their haste to make check-in.

Their backpacks at their feet, the two boys grasped their ticket and passport in one hand and their boyfriends hand in the other.

Before them, a newly married couple, Craig assumed, were giggling and kissing and the sun shone on them brightly. In his anticipation of a whirlwind romance getting stronger in their life in Dublin together, Craig whirled around and, facing his boyfriend, smiling a dazzling smile.

"I love you with all my heart, John Paul McQueen."

He took a step closer that their bodies were pressing together. Craig placed his ticket and passport in his pocket, indicating that JP should do the same. Craig then gently grasped his boyfriends face between his hands and whispered to him.

"Kiss me."

John Paul needed no further instruction and latched his lips to those of the Dean boy. Their kiss was slow, passionate and so full of love that anyone that saw it could not help but get a glowing feeling in their hearts.

John Paul's hands swam onto Craig's back and his ass, whilst Craig's hands got tangled in the blonde hair on JP's head. So lost in each other, neither heard the sneer of disgust that fell from their watchers mouth.

"I come here to wish my brother well in Uni and find you two snogging again! Have ya got no decency? NORMAL people don't want to see this sickness in slammed into their faces like this! It's not right!"

Jake Dean was breathing heavily his hands in fists, clenching and unclenching every few minutes.

Breaking from their embrace, Craig looked around the crowd and found that no-one was giving them the eye of disgust or hatred. No one was batting an eye lid at their actions.

Sighing, he faced his brother watched him pitifully for a few moments before speaking.

"Look around, Jake. No-one cares what we're doing. Not one. Only you seem to have this homophobic thoughts. No-one else in this whole bloody building gives a damn, so why do you hate us so much? Huh? Come on Jake; tell me, why do you hate me? It can't just be that I'm in love with a man, because you've worked behind the bar with Kris Fisher often enough. So please, tell me." 

John Paul was staring at the love of his life with eyes so bright they were blinding. He squeezed their still joined hands and kissed his cheek before watching Jake to see his reaction.

Jake just stood there. Neither one word nor syllable escaped his mouth as the crowds milled around. He just stared at them, not moving. After a minute, he took a step back and escaped the awkwardness of the moment.

John Paul sighed disappointedly and kissed Craig's cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not."

"Really?"

"Over the past few months, I wondered if he'd ever speak to me again, but now I realise that if he can't accept me, it's not my problem and I shouldn't worry about it at all. I should just live my life."

He kissed John Paul's lips seductively and smiled when they finally reached check-in.

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They reached the escalator that would lead them to their departure lounge. Craig took JP's hand in his, kissed his knuckles and led him to their new life in Dublin.

As they rose, they kissed and smiled, the sun breaking through the clouds, shining brighter and stronger as they rose higher and higher.

Craig, for once in his life, was at peace with who he was. And he was going to love every minute of it.


End file.
